I got a biopsy. Now I wait nine days for the results. The hard part isn’t the procedure. It’s the waiting. The mind races. What if it’s cancer? What does this mean? What if, what if, what if… The first arrow is what happens. The second arrow is the story we tell ourselves about what happens. I can’t control the first arrow. But I can notice when I’m firing the second one. That’s the practice right now. When my mind spins out, I bring it back to the present. Feel my feet on the floor. Take a breath. Play some guitar. Go for a walk. Remind myself that in this moment, there is no problem. Nine days is a long time if I’m lost in my head. But it’s not that long if I live them. The results will come when they come. The test will tell me something about my body. But the waiting is teaching me something about my mind. |
I was at Starbucks and overheard a guy approach a girl. Here’s how it went down. “Hi, my name is Mike. I’m new to the area and was wondering if I could ask you a question?” She said, “Sure.” “What’s your go-to spot for lunch around here?” Her face lit up. “You gotta try Pura Vida. It’s amazing.” Here’s what struck me about what happened next. Instead of jumping in with his own thoughts, he stayed with hers: “What is it about that place?”“What do you get?”“What other places do you like?” She...
When I was 3, my brother and I loved running around the house naked. Total freedom. Zero shame. Just two little streakers living their best life. Then one weekend, my parents dropped us off at grandma’s. We kept the tradition alive, sprinted through her living room in all our toddler glory. She was not impressed. “What are you doing? Put some clothes on! You should be ashamed of yourself!” Boom. Shame downloaded. And just like that, joy turned into a self-consciousness program running on...
Here’s a crash course in active listening. No certifications. No LinkedIn badge. Just four steps: They say: “I’ve been working here for 12 years. Can’t believe it’s been that long.” 1. Echo it back: “You sound surprised.” 2. Shut the front door. Seriously. Two beats of silence. Let it land. Then pause for two more beats after they’re done talking before moving to step three. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. 3. Get curious: “What’s kept it feeling fresh?” 4. Offer a related story: Something...